Be Careful What You Pray For

By Tracy Gordon

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.— Proverbs 3:5-6

From the moment I became a mother, I have prayed that my children would love and seek the Lord with all their hearts and discern His guidance in all their life decisions. My children are now young adults, and I am always so thankful when I see the fruits of this prayer.  Well, that is until I recently went into a tailspin over it. You see, my daughter, Holly is now working as a nurse and feels God is also calling her to mission work. She has already been on mission trips to Honduras, New York, South Africa and the Philippines, but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming. When she was home for Christmas, she shared with us that it was on her heart to go on a medical mission to use her nursing skill set and she had found an amazing one. My heart began to pound as I tried to brace myself for the location and then I heard the words…10 days in Iraq. In all of my humanness, I displayed behavior that was dramatic and not pretty. I freaked out, word vomited and was nothing short of hysterical! Then she says, “I leave on January 21^st.” WHAT?? Come to find out, it had taken her awhile to come up with the courage to tell us. Gee, I wonder why? Perhaps her mother’s reaction? In my mind I had justified the other missions. I was on the Honduras mission with her and could protect her. In New York, South Africa and the Philippines, there wasn’t an active war going on 796 miles away. That may seem far enough away, but to this freaked out Mama, it felt like next door! She then began explaining the amazing work the team would be doing, bringing much needed medical and dental care to Syrian refugees who had fled war torn Syria to Northern Iraq and many of the refugees were children.

I was overcome with such a mix of emotions. I was so proud and in awe at the love and compassion Holly has for people along with her love and devotion to Jesus and the calling he has on her life but at the same time, I was scared out of my mind about the location she was going to. I began to take this up with the Big Guy because it was His fault in the first place, haha! For two weeks, I sobbed through my prayers asking the Lord to help me trust and feeling guilty that I was having a hard time doing so. I began looking to scripture for help and God in all of His faithfulness was right there. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” I really wanted to live this verse, but my anxiety was overwhelming. Then as God does in His perfect timing, He reminded me that Deborah trusted God through the demands of life, Isaiah trusted God through bad news, Moses trusted God when there was no way out, David trusted God when life was not how he pictured it, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego trusted God no matter the outcome, Jacob trusted God when he had messed up and Esther trusted God when she was afraid. Even when Peter had witnessed many miracles and knew the power Jesus possessed, he lost his trust on the water. Peter took his focus off Jesus and placed it on the storm, and that is when he began to sink. He also reminded me in Romans 8:28, “that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

I have to remember that Holly was God’s first and then He entrusted me to be her mother. God calls us His children and so we can expect good things from our Father in heaven. I must try to humbly surrender all to Him and heed His words, “do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me.” When I think of great women of the Bible like Deborah and Esther who took great risks, I think of my precious daughter who also has been made for such a time as this.  She is being so obedient to God’s calling. How can I get in the way of that? I won’t, so I will trust.

Lord Jesus, when our trust in you wavers, please forgive us Father. Help us to surrender knowing you hold us in the palm of your hands. We ask a special blessing of protection over all missionaries throughout the world. Please go before them as they serve others, further your Kingdom and bring you all the glory. In your precious Name, Jesus we pray, Amen.