You Can’t Control Your Own Destiny

by Tracy Gordon

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the first born among many brothers.” –Romans 8:28-29

I was recently reflecting on something we found in my brother’s desk after he passed away. It was a piece of paper where he had penned the words, “The Lord doesn’t always remove the mountain, but He gives us the strength to climb it.” It made me think of my son Jimmy, who has been climbing a very tall “mountain” since December.

In a couple of my recent devotions, I have written about the severe skin condition Jimmy has been battling. As his mother, it has been excruciating for me to watch the pain and suffering he has endured and feel so helpless so much of the time. Although Jimmy is still in the healing process and not fully back to work yet, we continue to see God’s goodness and faithfulness through it all. I recently sat down with Jimmy and asked him if he would share some of his most personal thoughts about his faith journey through this trial. This is his story…

For Jimmy, some of his significant trials actually started a few years ago. He was battling pretty severe anxiety and would have chest pains daily. He was laid off from his job due to cutbacks, got another job, and then within a year was laid off from that job. He went on unemployment and at that time came into a very unexpected financial win and was able to start his own business. Everything was going well in building the new business until Covid hit and his business growth came to a halt. It was like one step forward and two steps backward.

After Covid, the company he loved working for had gotten some new contracts and made him an offer to come back and work for them. Jimmy was so grateful for this opportunity as it allowed him to have steady work while building his business on the side. Just when things seemed to be on the upswing with employment, more financial stability, and a recent engagement to the love of his life, this severe skin condition hit with a vengeance. All of the sudden, Jimmy could not work as his skin was so fragile and needed to heal.

At this time, his fiancé Brenda was very unhappy in her job and not feeling her worth. This was a very trying time for both of them. Emotions were running high, finances were becoming a worry, Jimmy was enduring a lot medically, and it was a very scary time. Things Jimmy dreaded or thought negatively about only ate him up and stressed him out. Dwelling on a problem never fixed it.

It was here he reflected back and saw how God had brought bits of goodness and blessings in some of the trials previously mentioned. He knew he needed to trust the Lord in this hardship and his amazing willpower would allow him to do so. It was time to give it up spiritually to the One who could do something about it.

Jimmy began to realize all of his why me? why this? why now? questions were not going to be answered daily. He just needed to give it up and trust that there was a purpose in all of this, realizing that our ways are not always God’s ways. There have been some very dark days, but every time Jimmy thought he hit rock bottom, something happened to pick him up.

When a much-needed medication seemed financially out of reach, Jimmy’s great doctor helped ensure his insurance would cover it. A month and a half after this journey started, Brenda got a new job that she loves where she feels her worth, and has helped greatly with their financial needs. One of their cars was on the brink and they needed a new one. Due to the financial hardships they were enduring at this time with Jimmy not being able to work, they had exactly $6,000 that they could spend on a car. At that same time, we found out that dear friends of ours were selling their parent’s car. When we asked for the price they wanted, it was $6,000! As Jimmy began to completely surrender and trust God, he realized he was no longer experiencing anxiety or chest pains any longer. Wow, blessing after blessing! 

In Paul’s letter to the Romans (8:28-29) he says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the first born among many brothers.”

Romans 8:28 assures believers that even in the midst of suffering and hardship, God is actively working for our good. Romans 8:29 clarifies “good” as God having a specific purpose for His people; to be shaped and made like His Son, Jesus. This is an active process of becoming more like Him in character and lifestyle.

As a mother who has faithfully prayed for my children to have a personal relationship with Jesus, it has been a true gift for me to witness Jimmy seeing and declaring God’s faithfulness. The other treasured gift has been watching Jimmy and Brenda’s unconditional love, devotion, and dedication to one another through this trial. They are truly owning and living the vows, “in sickness and in health” and “in joys and in sorrows” before they are even married and it is truly beautiful to watch. We know Jimmy’s complete healing is on the horizon and we thank the Lord for His abundant goodness.

Lord Jesus, You tell us that “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Thank You for telling us this so that in You we may have peace. Even when it’s hard to do so, please help us to always look for Your abundant goodness in the hardships of life because we know it’s there. In Your precious Name we pray, Amen.