Love Yourself
by Finn Proctor
One thing I’ve never been much good at is loving myself.
I’ve seen it before as an egotistical practice. Prideful; self-centered; self-serving. It’s probably because I hadn’t thought of self-care as a means of self-sacrifice.
It’s funny though, because if we call ourselves Christians, we should be able to do just that. Love ourselves. It’s actually part of the second most important thing to do ever, according to Christ.
Once, a Pharisee who was an expert on the law of Moses, asked Jesus a question to test him: “Teacher, which command in the law is the most important?” So, Jesus answered him: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’”
But, He didn’t stop there.
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:35-40).
“All the Law and the Prophets.” That means everything that had meant anything up to that point in time. That persists to this day, as Jesus’ life and ministry have become the Law of our hearts. So, clearly, these commandments matter. But are we fully grasping what Jesus is saying here? I know I wasn’t for the longest time.
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
I mean, what does that even mean?
If we really stop and analyze this statement, we should search for what Jesus is implying. Bringing our neighbor across the street a carton of eggs? Carrying a gallon of milk to our upstairs neighbor, even when they stomp really loudly? Maybe. But it’s the “as yourself” part that I always get caught up on. Allow me to expound upon this vulnerability of mine.
You see, I’ve always found it enjoyable to help others, even when it hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s probably one of my favorite things to do (second favorite, to be precise). So much so, that I often forget to take care of myself out of the desire and obligation I feel towards assisting other people first and foremost. I skip meals; I lose sleep; I stretch myself thin keeping up with all of the commitments that I know I would have felt guilty saying “no” to.
Sometimes, I even get caught up in only praying for others that I forget to pray for God to speak into my own life.
Honestly, I think loving others as yourself can mean a plethora of things:
It could be like the Golden Rule: treating others with the same care, empathy, and respect that you would want for yourself.
It can look like performing tangible acts of love, concern, and generosity that make a positive difference in others’ lives. Understanding and sympathizing with their needs and situations, extending the same passion and kindness that you have seen extended to yourself.
It might require you to understand where others are coming from, to appreciate their needs and sensitivities, and to relate to their situations as if you were in the same boat.
If we look closely, there is the greatest common denominator amid these hypotheticals. The one factor that each of these possibilities lean on is the reality of oneself being present in the equation. Knowing how you would want to be treated, in order to treat others similarly. Extending goodness toward people, a goodness that you yourself have experienced before. Relating to others’ situations based on your own personal history and gained wisdom.
Think about it: self-love is how we were created. God formed the Heavens and the Earth at the dawn of eternity. Then the Trinity, in perfect love with themself, allowed that overflowing love to pour into another vessel: us. Humans. And God saw what He had made, and He said it was very good.
Now, none of this is to say that you should go love yourself and use this as an excuse for self-servitude that only leads to inactivity. In fact, it’s the opposite. The greatest example of love in all of history was displayed for us on a wooden cross. God sending His Son Jesus to die for us is the ultimate driver for action in our own lives. It compels us to move. To extend. To reach out. To leave the 99 and seek the one, just as the Lord did for you.
This principle of loving others applies to everyone, not just those who are similar to you. It involves mutual responsibility, fairness in interactions, honesty, and a commitment to justice for others. It's not just a feeling, but a directive to perform actions that demonstrate care and make a difference. It’s helping with tasks, offering comfort, or simply sharing a meal.
If a neighbor needs a ride, or help with their dog or cat while they're away, or even just a call on the phone; you offer that. Let someone in front of you in a store or in traffic. Be generous to those in need and refuse to be a party to gossip or slander. Use your blessings to bless others who have not been blessed as you have.
Yet, you’ve gotta receive those blessings first. Cherish them. Understand them. Realize where they are coming from, and why God has given them to you. This is loving yourself.
After all, if Jesus lives in your heart and you have placed your identity in Him, then loving yourself is one of the least selfish things you could do.
So, ask yourself this question: how can I love myself today?
And now, a follow up: how can this compel me to love others, just as God has loved me?
Because that’s the truth: God loves you so, so much. More than you could possibly know.
Writing this devotional has been a beautiful outlet for me to allow myself to love myself. I hope that it blesses you, and that you know that I love you, too.
Peace and Blessings
~Finn :)