Holding Fast to Covenant Love
by Tracy Gordon
“My beloved is mine and I am his.” –Song of Solomon 2:16
“I have found the one whom my soul loves. I held him and would not let him go.” –Song of Solomon 3:4
On this very day, 35 years ago I received the greatest blessing. I was joined in marriage with the one whom my soul loves. I was only 22 years old, but by the grace of God, wise beyond my years when it came to this decision and choosing to spend the rest of my life with Jim. Little did I know on that beautiful summer day that life would never be the same, but I had prayed for this. I knew early on in our relationship that Jim was “the one” and so I prayed, “Lord, if you make Jim my husband, I promise to work really hard at being the wife You’ve created me to be.”
Well, Jesus in all His goodness answered my prayer. What came next was that part about working really hard to be the wife He created me to be. In our humanness, this can be easier said than done. Don’t get me wrong, Jim was then and still is so easy to love; but seasons of life can be complicated, and you have to work hard to keep your focus and priorities where they need to be. Thank goodness we have a God who desires to be in the middle of our marriage, guiding our path and keeping us on the straight and narrow. We welcomed Him into that spot from day one.
As I woke up this morning and looked at my soulmate lying next to me, I felt such a sense of gratitude. Then my eyes focused on two signs we have in our bedroom. One reads, “You are the Love of my Life” and the other is from Song of Solomon 3:4—“I Have Found the One Whom My Soul Loves.” I then was prompted (thank You, Jesus) to read the entire Song of Solomon. This is one of Scripture’s most beautiful celebrations of love. It reminds us that marriage is not merely a partnership of schedules, bills, responsibilities, and routines but at its best, it’s a place of delight, tenderness, pursuit, belonging, and covenant faithfulness.
In a world where love is often reduced to convenience or emotion, Song of Solomon calls husbands and wives back to something richer. Love is meant to be cherished, protected, spoken, and practiced. The beloved’s words, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,” are not words of possession in a selfish sense; they are words of secure commitment. They speak of a bond where both people are known, chosen, honored, and safe. Marriage today can be pulled in many directions. Work, technology, parenting, stress, and daily fatigue can slowly turn affection into assumption. But the Song of Solomon invites couples to keep noticing one another. It teaches the holy art of attention: seeing your spouse, admiring your spouse, listening to your spouse, and making room for joy.
Song of Solomon 3:4 adds another layer to this picture of covenant love: love that seeks, finds, holds, and refuses to casually let go. In marriage, there are seasons when closeness must be pursued again with humility and hope. The verse reminds us that love is worth searching for when distance has grown, worth holding gently when it is found, and worth bringing home into the ordinary rooms of daily life.
This kind of love does not happen by accident. Covenant love is cultivated. It grows through small acts of faithfulness: a gentle answer, an unhurried conversation, a sincere compliment, a quick apology, a warm embrace, a shared prayer, and the choice to keep turning toward one another instead of away, even when things are hard. Therefore, do not let appreciation remain silent. Tell your spouse what you admire, value, and enjoy about them. Make space for conversation without distraction. Put down the phone and ask questions that invite the heart to speak.
Song of Solomon 3:4 also says, “I held him, and would not let him go.” When reconciliation, tenderness, or fresh affection appears, protect it with patience, gratitude, and renewed commitment. Never forget that marriage can become functional, but love is meant to remain intentional. God designed love to be honored, protected, and enjoyed within covenant so plan moments of delight, laughter, and shared beauty. Hello, it’s time for a date night!
I am certainly no expert in marriage, but thankfully my Lord is and I will continue to ask Him to help me continue to be the wife He created me to be, and the one Jim so deserves. What I do know 35 years later is that I have a husband who loves Jesus with all his heart and leads by that example; a husband who makes this wife feel unconditionally loved, cherished, adored, and appreciated; a husband who has sacrificed much for his family and whose children revere him; a husband who brings laughter and joy into everything, and a husband I love, honor, and respect with my whole heart and can’t wait to spend another 35 plus more years with.
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of covenant love. Teach us to cherish marriage as You designed it; with faithfulness, tenderness, joy, patience, and honor. Help us to continue pursuing one another even if we’ve been married for many years and to never take each other for granted. May our marriage become a living testimony of Your steadfast love. In Jesus’ Name we pray, Amen!